Monday, June 06, 2005

a week in

i was referred to by a student, for the first time today, as "ms. degrat" which is closer than i've ever come to being called my official title, ms. degrAAF, by anyone. honestly, despite the mistaken pronunciation, my heart lept with an inflated sense of newfound respect and the accompanying authority when i heard the student utter that formal title. beyond the initial flattery, i was also reminded that i'm not a student anyone - at least to some, or in the same capacity in which i was just a month ago. sometimes when i sit in ms. sneed's class, observing as she mumbles off the grammar lesson for the day, i feel as much a bored, sleepy, fifteen year old as any student in the class. i swear to myself, when i note my nodding in and out of focused attention, growing distant in my daydreaming, that i will fight with all my ability to save my students in the fall from such needless sufferring. i'm optomistic at this point. it is an optomism that i recognize, smile at, and then curse for its - for my own - naivete each day as we are told of the difficulties to be confronted, of the misery we're going to experience in those first months, in that first year of teaching. how can i feel so at ease knowing i'm walking right into a spear-lined pit with many sharp-toothed carnivorous creatures waiting to macerate my freshly burned flesh - thanks to mississippi sun - if given the chance? i'm going to get a dog. just as soon as i get to jackson. a big black doberman.


Blogger amber said...

hey, i'm a former mtc member just browsing the blogs. good luck this summer and fall. i'll be in the jackson area next year also so email if you have questions about school or if you need to vent (you will need to vent). i taught english in holly springs 2000-2002.

4:52 PM

Blogger A. Monroe said...

Being addressed as Ms. for the first time is a trip.

9:40 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can do it, Deej! I have faith in you. Just keep that marvelous smile on your face, and save a irty martini for after work.

9:19 AM


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