Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Reflections

I'm happy to conclude that I like kids. I also am happy to reaffirm that I like thinking up ways to keep them and myself busy, maybe even while teaching them and myself something in the meantime.

I think the summer school experience has mostly offered me a good environment in which to become more confident and aware of myself as a person not of a class, but leading a class. The realization came as a shock at first, when I discovered that I'm not the student in the same sense, but now the teacher and student of my students and my experience with them. I was also a little surprised to discover my own intollerance for disrespectful behavior, and that it was not my natural inclination, as I had thought it might have been, to be a softy.

I've also observed myself throughout the past month reverting back to habits of organization and regimine that I believed to have left behind in high school. It's amazing to me how various circumstances and tasks bring out different aspects of my personality and behavior. I get up at five each morning - something I definitely never did in college - and take my morning "self" time, before diving into each day's classroom insanity. I am once again a compulsive list maker, note taker, and paper organizer. And I love the fact that I am using parts of my brain, of my intelligence, that I never got to excercise in college. There have been so many nights in this past month alone when I've collapsed, satisfied with exhaustion, into bed. I like that feeling.

I also love the students in my class. Some of them can frustrate the hell out of me, but other are hillarious, and others make my day when they tell me that was the first time they'd learned something like that or in that way, or that what we talked about was something they'd like to know more about.

All that said, I'm ready to be done with summer school. I don't like not having my own class. I don't like that there are days when I do nothing because it is not my turn to teach. Ideally there would be enough summer school classes that each of us could be one on one with an experienced teacher and a class.

In short: the teaching experience has been possitive, and I am completely motivated to keep moving forward.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Andy said...

Sarah, I'm STILL amazed after 23 years of teaching when I hear the Voice of the Disciplinarian come out of my mouth. I think of that Voice as an alien one, and yet it always seems to be hanging around, as eager to pop off as my students.

4:40 PM

 
Anonymous Laurel said...

In my mind, Degraaf = badass. I'm not at all surprised you weren't a softy on them (while still caring deeply). Anyway, glad I stumbled onto your accounts here thanks to Molina-- best wishes and I look forward to reading more updates :)

12:02 AM

 

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