Tuesday, June 21, 2005

august anxiety

i am ready for the end of summer school. ready for july. ready to start focussing and planning my curriculum for august. ready to stop stumbling over four or five teachers in one classroom. (i love working with all of you, and have benefited greatly from observing, but honestly there are just too many of us for fourteen students. i think we are beginning to overwhelm/confuse, and the experience is not really translatable to what we will find in august in our own classes.) i am ready to establish my own classroom space and routine. ready to begin actualizing what we outline here, daily, in class. i'm ready to confront the situation for which they say we're being prepared, which i have yet to experience. i'm taking rapid fire notes each afternoon, but day after day i begin to suspect the tidbits are slipping away as i have no means of applying them directly.

i'm sure i should just stop worrying, and enjoy this time, the downhill coast. the uphill pedalling will begin soon enough. but i'm the kind of person who would rather be fighting, wiping the shit from the fan, than growing anxious about the unrealized battle ahead. to make it even better, we constantly receive words of wisdom and advice from the experienced among us to help minimize of our immenant danger. (only one second year had a stapler thrown at her last year.)

of course, i don't really worry that much. it's just that long days and obligatory blogging reaffirm neurosis.


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